Final Testimony

To Whoever Reads This On A Whim,
After studying for around 1 hr. and a half for my English 104 final, I've come full circle. I'm done with it. I know, "studying for just one hour? you must be real confident" Actually, not to screw myself over or say a precursor to anything, writing is something you've got to feel, or atleast acknowledge with feeling. In the world of English there is a constituency of this material we'd call (or maybe just me) "gray" matter. The argumentative region where you, the writer can rewrite your own history or define something in your own words. That's what I've always loved about the subject of English, with all this "gray matter" and all my ever-flowing creativity, it's only been beneficial for me up until now.
--It's around 2:20 a.m and this world of college is still pretty new to me. Before, I had a bedtime and a strict set of limits where I knew my boundaries (where I can cross, and where I can't etc. etc.). Having all this unlimited freedom has screwed me over a couple times, but not to the point where my academia has been compromised in any which way. Another thing the world of college has brought to my attention is how diverse the University Demographic can be. There's these pothead geniuses that argue about the fourth dimension and the space-time continuum (doing this while still under their substance-high), there's also girls that I still haven't found to be compatible to my nature, Oh and evidently, there's one guy that has caught my attention. I'm not saying he's going to be my next romantic-interest of any sort, but Literary Interest? Intensely. He's an individual that very easy to talk to, and upon sporadic incidences, reads the same books that I do. Being distracted by his masculinity certainly caught me off-guard, but maybe that's a good thing. Maybe he was there for a purpose really, to teach me something about people. I thought maybe because this guy is just a Mechanical Engineering major, his mind would only be rational to numbers and equations, but consequently it's open to literature, not ANY literature, but Action-Romance literature. I am so intrigued, really. We even set a Starbucks date to discuss the book....My determination to finish it is kicking into high-gear!
Let's see where my crazy college life will take me next.
P.S, a couple hours ago I was baking cookies because my dorm-mates & I, "just felt like it"

**I half hate this impulsive life, but I half love it. Yay for bittersweet entailment :)


Sincerely,
Kathy R.

Real Confessions of a Newfound College Girl

To My Dedicated Readers,
First off, I'd like to apologize for my lack of blogging for the past few months, I've been caught up in this hectic and fast-paced college life where I rarely have time to kick back and realize the everyday things I took for granted. I took my privacy held at home for granted, I took my full sized bed for granted, and I took the company of my loving family for granted. On another note I totally love my newfound freedom. I like how I can come back to my dorm in four in the morning and I don't have to worry about my punishments for the next month and a half. But anyways, the real message I wanted to present in this sad excuse for a blog is the content of peoples' character. How to trust someone in the world of academia, and completely trusting them to not screw you over.
Coming to college I came here with my bestfriend Jers, and to this day, he never ceases to amaze me with how much I can truly trust him. Going away to college has tested my communication skills, and to my surprise I've discovered in myself that I can verbally express myself better than I thought. I'm still exceptionally close with my bestfriends from highschool and I'm sure damn proud to admit that. With the use of technological advances such as video chatting and the ever-so-popular AIM, recapping the work-week has been easier than ever.
And here I go again with another ranting note. I never noticed how much I can care for a person unselfishly (if that could ever be proposed as a real word). I also never noticed how much the female sex can irritate my ears. No doubt I tolerate the people that live in my hall, but the onslaught of stupidity that runs through everyday jargon is so convolutedly dumb I think I might be losing brain cells. I missed the intellectual discussions I used to have with my fellow AVIDmates in the corner continent. I miss talking about things that actually have substance, and not talking to people that have foreign substances smoked, blazed, or drunken within them.

Old Habits Die Hard

After a couple weeks of slaving away at the internet & trying to find a decent priced Adobe CS3, I have finally found it! As most of you know, I can't live (or even function for that matter) without having some sort of creative digital imaging software on ANY of my computers. But anyways I'm so happy that I've finally found my vice! Ever since I got my macbook pro I never felt that it was complete, but NOW IT IS!
I know this entry has no fluidity whatsoever. It's just because there's so much going on for me right now.. Bonfire with friends, while trying to get all my crap ready for college (dorm stuff & necessities. etc. etc)

ALL IN ALL..I'm happy I have my CS3 now, and I'm sort of satisfied with the banner I made. I need to make a few more tweaks, but whatever. **Thanks Kuya Jay-R for providing me a DJ picture of you that I vectorized & made a brush out of (it took me around 1.5 hours to get all the layers right, but HEY, it turned out decent right?)

-P.S Finally gave in to consumerism and bought myself another New Era cap from Active. Then a Stussy shirt & a key lanyard (I swear I collect them...)




Ciao! For Now.
KathyWho?

6 Minutes

Well, now it's only five minutes, but anyways..
I'm at my old high as of right now and it's been a surreal experience. Seeing how I am missed, and how the "missing" is in reciprocation.
I think I'll blog a bit later..
I have another classroom to go to .. (oh yeah, I'm another tutor for the day)
Basically I've learned that I HAVE left my mark here.
What I'd pay to relive highschool with all my newfound knowledge.

Si Sourd-Muet

In translation, it means "so dumb" in French.
I chose this title because well.. I never realized how much I laugh at things that are.. so dumb. HAHA. Like today, I was chatting with one of my friends Mioy about how annoying my AIM is (because it pronounces the names outloud in some medium manly telemarketer kinda voice) I wish I could record it so that you know what I'm talking about. But basically, we were discussing how my AIM would butcher the hell out of everyone's names, or their screenames. One of my friends' sn is yourMOMwasbetter (take out a couple numbers just for confidentiality) and I nearly died laughing when he signed on. My dad also was passing through the hallway (and since my laptop is hooked up to speakers & sub woofers) and he heard it as well. I also would like to say sorry to all my asian friends with those hella asian last names that my laptop fails to pronounce correctly (ie: vinh, khang, mioy, kenny hsaio, and stephy chiang).

--and to add. Recently got a phonecall from an ex-flame, asking me to come over because he was bored (& since he technically is my neighbor I figured what the hell, okay). We chilled, talked about life and how oral surgery sucks nuts and how big our suture holes are. Then I went to get something from his desk and noticed that the ceramic whistle I had made for him (during our time of..dating) was gone. So I asked where he put it and he just flat out said that he gave it as a gift to (his now ex-gf). I mean, what the fuck? I know we're not dating anymore (& thank God) but I would think he still has the decency to keep a handmade gift. A gift I spend a good month & a half to make in my ceramics class. I can't be his safety net anymore, I really can't.

Ciao! For now.
KathyWho

Self-Worth

I was browsing through a couple blogs on Blogspot, and I found a really cool one called "PostSecret" where people anonymously put secrets on postcards and send them in. I have no idea why (because it doesn't really apply to me) but this one in particular seriously screamed at me.
I have no clue why, but whoever sent this in, I commend her for being scared. I know I certainly was at some point or another; and I know I may be young, but I still believe Love is for all ages.
Even though Love has broken me down to the point where I thought my mental capacity would surely break, I'm glad I've experienced those heartaches. I was able to grow and become a much more confident version of myself. A version that has allowed myself to love more open (even though it still catches me for a fool) and cry less often.
I'd also like to recollect on how Love can bring out the worst in us, the utmost ugly that everyone hates to face, but so many like to bring out. It certainly has gotten the best of me, and I hate it when someone can see that. That someone can break me down so badly and not even care, even though I've cared for them tenfold what they cared for me (if that made any sense at all). I don't know why I have to ability to care so much less about myself, I just do. I like being there for people when they really need it. I like being their "Catcher in the Rye." Basically someone that will be there when they've lost their way, so that they can regain some enlightenment back in their life.
Okay, well.. my cousin is falling asleep and I'm using her computer..soo

Ciao! For Now
KathyWho?

Nostalgia

Yesterday I was up in West Covina with my other cousins (the ones I usually don't hang with during the summer) and someone from my past came back and pseudo-haunted me. As I was saying, I was standing in line at Pondahan and some REALLY attractive guy tapped me on my shoulder. To my surprise it was my old SCPA buddy Jeric.
At that moment, everything became so surreal. I remember being his onstage girlfriend for this musical we had done around 10 years ago, and to my dismay I'm still surprised he remembers my face, let alone my name. (I'm sure I don't look the same from 10 years ago). So after the whole shoulder tapping & awkward surreal moments, everything became clarified again.
Jeric was at Pondahan with his mom, and inevitably auntie came up to me and gave me a big hug and kiss on the cheek. I forgot how loving his mom is (maybe it's because at an early age she wanted me to marry her son), but anyways..
I'm still surprised that Jeric still dances, but then again he was surprised that I still dance. So we decided to give each other a short synopsis of our lives..okay so maybe it wasn't really short. But still, having a random conversation at the last place I would think to have it made me realize the Spontaneity that runs our lives.

**P.S-If Jeric is reading this, I'm sorry for the picture, it was the only one that reminded me of the REAL you.

Ciao! For now.
KathyWho?